Choosing Paths

I saw a film last week which made me realise that it was about time I started blogging. Even if nobody reads what I write I think it's such an important thing to make some kind of record of what we do in our lives. At least then, people can one day see that we actually DID something. If nothing else, I will be able to reassure myself that I'm doing SOMETHING.

So...I want to be a filmmaker. I am a filmmaker but what I mean is, I want to be a RECOGNISED filmmaker. A filmmaker with a fan base - I want someone to look through the film showings and say "here's a film written and produced by Joanna Beard - they always make me feel good. Let's go see that". That's what I think is so wonderful about the power of film (and it has many powers) but my favourite is its ability to transport you into the fictional lives of others and fill you with that warm fuzzy feeling that makes you positively skip out of the Odeon in a style not dissimilar to Michael McIntyre.

So what got me here in the first place... Unlike the Dawson Leary's of this world - the young boys and girls who grew up making movies from the age of 5, I didn't realise I wanted to make films until I was 17. Yet, oddly enough a computer programme in our careers library at school predicted my future ambitions when I was 13 - I still find this rather spooky. So, I'm 17 and I'm starting to fill out UCAS forms not knowing really what I wanted to do in life. Up until the age 0f 16 I was dead set on being an airline pilot - following in the vapor trails of my Dad and many other family members within the aviation industry. Initially I decided on a combi course of Drama and English - my two strongest A levels. However, something didn't feel quite right.

Whilst on holiday in Cornwall I picked up a prospectus for an arts college in Falmouth and had a flick through thinking what an amazing place to study. Turning the pages I came across the Film Studies course. Stifling a smile, the cogs start rapidly gaining speed until everything seems to fall into place. I had always loved film, I was a keen story teller, I loved drama and the critical analysis of characters and narratives in literature - I could explore similar issues in film but in such a new and exciting way. I was positively buzzing.

Suddenly I felt I had found my calling. Slightly sudden perhaps and an abrupt change in direction but looking back it all made sense.

Needless to say I went to Falmouth, studied Film amongst the Dawson Learys feeling slightly out of place and hopeless at the number of 'classics' I hadn't seen - predominantly Tarantino's - our cohort was about 70% male and in love with Quentin. I, however, was in love and am still in love with Ephron (Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally) and Disney. Ironically, it was her latest release (Julie & Julia) that inspired me to start this.

Falmouth was an enormous learning curve for me in many ways. For the first few months I told myself to be open to any film, any genre any gruesome topic and I was. However it didn't last long. I think it ended somewhere between my introduction to Requiem for a Dream and Saw. Enough was enough and although I was prepared to acknowledge and learn about the films that I found offensive and nightmare inducing I was not prepared to subject myself to them any longer.

So where did I see myself headed? Ultimately I wanted to be a screenwriter. In the same way some people make films from an early age I was always writing stories. The reason why film is so important to me is that in my mind storytelling is a unique aspect of human behaviour. As far as we're aware we are the only creatures capable of such a feat. With that in mind, film to me is by far the most powerful way of telling a story. That, combined with the pursuit of finding the ingredients to that warm and fuzzy feeling which makes us skip like children is the reason I chose the winding road ahead.